TOP 100 Lists

Audio-Visual Entertainment

1. Inserting a VHS tape into a VCR to watch a movie or to record something.
2. Super-8 movies and cine film of all kinds.
3. Playing music on an audio tape using a personal stereo. See what happens when you give a Walkman to todays teenager.
4. The number of TV channels being a single digit. I remember it being a massive event when Britain got its fourth channel.
5. Standard-definition, CRT TVs filling up half your living room.
6. Rotary dial televisions with no remote control. You know, the ones where the kids were the remote control.
7. High-speed dubbing.
8. 8-track cartridges.
9. Vinyl records. Even today’s DJs are going laptop or CD.
10. Betamax tapes.
11. MiniDisc.
12. Laserdisc: the LP of DVD.
13. Scanning the radio dial and hearing static between stations. (Digital tuners + HD radio bork this concept.)
14. Shortwave radio.
15. 3-D movies meaning red-and-green glasses.
16. Watching TV when the networks say you should. Tivo and Sky+ are slowing killing this one.
17. That there was a time before ‘reality TV.’


Computers and Videogaming

18. Wires. OK, so they’re not gone yet, but it won’t be long
19. The scream of a modem connecting.
20. The buzz of a dot-matrix printer
21. 5- and 3-inch floppies, Zip Discs and countless other forms of data storage.
22. Using jumpers to set IRQs.
23. DOS.
24. Terminals accessing the mainframe.
25. Screens being just green (or orange) on black.
26. Tweaking the volume setting on your tape deck to get a computer game to load, and waiting ages for it to actually do it.
27. Daisy chaining your SCSI devices and making sure they’ve all got a different ID.
28. Counting in kilobytes.
29. Wondering if you can afford to buy a RAM upgrade.
30. Blowing the dust out of a NES cartridge in the hopes that it’ll load this time.
31. Turning a PlayStation on its end to try and get a game to load.
32. Joysticks.
33. Having to delete something to make room on your hard drive.
34. Booting your computer off of a floppy disk.
35. Recording a song in a studio.


The Internet

36. NCSA Mosaic.
37. Finding out information from an encyclopedia.
38. Using a road atlas to get from A to B.
39. Doing bank business only when the bank is open.
40. Shopping only during the day, Monday to Saturday.
41. Phone books and Yellow Pages.
42. Newspapers and magazines made from dead trees.
43. Actually being able to get a domain name consisting of real words.
44. Filling out an order form by hand, putting it in an envelope and posting it.
45. Not knowing exactly what all of your friends are doing and thinking at every moment.
46. Carrying on a correspondence with real letters, especially the handwritten kind.
47. Archie searches.
48. Gopher searches.
49. Concatenating and UUDecoding binaries from Usenet.
50. Privacy.
51. The fact that words generally don’t have num8er5 in them.
52. Correct spelling of phrases, rather than TLAs.
53. Waiting several minutes (or even hours!) to download something.
54. The time before botnets/security vulnerabilities due to always-on and always-connected PCs
55. The time before PC networks.
56. When Spam was just a meat product — or even a Monty Python sketch.


Gadgets

57. Typewriters.
58. Putting film in your camera: 35mm may have some life still, but what about APS or disk?
59. Sending that film away to be processed.
60. Having physical prints of photographs come back to you.
61. CB radios.
62. Getting lost. With GPS coming to more and more phones, your location is only a click away.
63. Rotary-dial telephones.
64. Answering machines.
65. Using a stick to point at information on a wallchart
66. Pay phones.
67. Phones with actual bells in them.
68. Fax machines.
69. Vacuum cleaners with bags in them.


Everything Else

70. Taking turns picking a radio station, or selecting a tape, for everyone to listen to during a long drive.
71. Remembering someone’s phone number.
72. Not knowing who was calling you on the phone.
73. Actually going down to a Blockbuster store to rent a movie.
74. Toys actually being suitable for the under-3s.
75. LEGO just being square blocks of various sizes, with the odd wheel, window or door.
76. Waiting for the television-network premiere to watch a movie after its run at the theater.
77. Relying on the 5-minute sport segment on the nightly news for baseball highlights.
78. Neat handwriting.
79. The days before the nanny state.
80. Starbuck being a man.
81. Han shoots first.
82. “Obi-Wan never told you what happened to your father.” But they’ve already seen episode III, so it’s no big surprise.
83. Kentucky Fried Chicken, as opposed to KFC.
84. Trig tables and log tables.
85. “Don’t know what a slide rule is for …”
86. Finding books in a card catalog at the library.
87. Swimming pools with diving boards.
88. Hershey bars in silver wrappers.
89. Sliding the paper outer wrapper off a Kit-Kat, placing it on the palm of your hand and clapping to make it bang loudly. Then sliding your finger down the silver foil of break off the first finger
90. A Marathon bar (what a Snickers used to be called in Britain).
91. Having to manually unlock a car door.
92. Writing a check.
93. Looking out the window during a long drive.
94. Roller skates, as opposed to blades.
95. Cash.
96. Libraries as a place to get books rather than a place to use the internet.
97. Spending your entire allowance at the arcade in the mall.
98. Omni Magazine
99. A physical dictionary — either for spelling or definitions.
100. When a ‘geek’ and a ‘nerd’ were one and the same.

10. Take Her to an Art Gallery Opening

Art gallery openings are the perfect cheapskate’s date.  They provide free booze, the heightened atmosphere of a premiere, and usually don’t have a guest list. A date at an art gallery will impress your lady friend. It will make you look sophisticated, creative, and passionate. The art will also help stimulate conversation. If you really want to ensure getting laid, do your homework and take her to an art gallery with sexually charged artworks. Some tasteful nudes will plant the seeds of sex in her head. You will also be able to work out your chances of getting laid by watching her reaction to the art. If she blushes, you can laugh it off and drop her home early. If she loves it, then you’re in with a fighting chance. Heighten the stakes by suggesting you go back to your place and recreate some of the images. Girls love to get creative, and this is a great way to get her naked.

9. Go Stargazing

A girl goes crazy when a guy gets creative and organizes a romantic date. One of the most romantic dates is stargazing. All you need is a car, a blanket, a clear night, and some stars in the sky. You may also want to throw in a cheap bottle of wine. Before the date, do some research on the different star constellations. This will give you something to talk about and make you sound passionate and intelligent. This type of setting is ideal for big conversations about life, love, hopes and dreams. Girls love this spiritual crap and you will be able to fake a deep connection. This coupled with the stars and wine and you’ll be getting jiggy with it.

8. Pretend You’re in a Band

Chicks dig rockers. Dudes who are in bands don’t even have to speak and they get laid. Being a rocker is also an economical way to dress. How many times have you worn expensive clothes to a club or bar and gotten nowhere while at the same time some guy who looks homeless is getting some mad action?

All you need to do to look like a rock star is go to your local thrift store and stock up on a pair of tattered tight jeans and a washed out AC/DC t-shirt. Couple this with a belt and unwashed hair and you’ll be in like Flynn. If you have some cash left over, add a fake tattoo for effect. Once you’re in ‘costume,’ go to a bar full of groupies, talk bullshit about your music and wait for them to flock.

7. “Learn” a Foreign Accent

I hate guys with foreign accents because they don’t even need to try and they get play. Women go weak at the knees over some dude with an accent. I suppose accents are like cheese, and most girls like something foreign and exotic.

To a girl, a guy with a foreign accent is like taking a vacation, and you know how slutty girls are when they are on vacation. Girls also like the thought that a dude they hook up with is not going to end up as a neighbor or someone they’ll bump into at the supermarket.

To get laid like a foreigner, learn an accent. Rent an English language film with a French or Italian actor in it and copy how they sound. If this is too difficult, pretend you are English, Australian or South African. The next step is do some research online and prepare you back story. You want a girl to be swept up in your foreignness. Do this and you’ll sweep her off her feet and into your bed.

6. Play the Sympathy Card

Only play the sympathy card to get laid if you are desperate and have tried and failed with the other suggestions on this list. That said, playing the sympathy card is a sure thing and a super cheap way to get action. If you want to do some research on how to get sympathy sex, watch Choke. This film is about a guy who pretends to choke in restaurants in order to take advantage of the kindness of strangers. His fake choking incidents lead to money and sex.

The most important part of sympathy sex is making sure you have a well thought out plan. Target your sad, sympathy-inducing story to the girl you want to bang. For instance, if you know a girl who really loves dogs ring her up all sad and ask her to come over to your place. Before she arrives, it is important to look like you’ve been crying and are really upset. Try chopping an onion. When she arrives tell her your beloved childhood dog just passed away and that you needed someone to talk to, console you and share a cheap bottle of wine with. In no time she’ll be hugging you, a little drunk and asking you how she can make you feel better. You know the rest. Near death experiences, where mouth-to-mouth is needed, are also a good way to get sympathy sex.

5. Be the Rebound Guy

When women get dumped they crave male attention. They desperately want to be desired and get back at their ex. This means they are up for a lot of random sex. A small window exists with women on the rebound where it is acceptable for them to be absolute whores. Take advantage of this window. Crawl Facebook and keep an eye out for female friends whose status has changed from “In a Relationship” to “Single.” Then hit them up for a casual coffee. Before you know it, you’ll be hitting it.

4. Chase Chubby Girls

The trick to getting laid on the cheap is to lower your standards and find girls with low self-esteem. Girls with the lowest self-esteem are fat chicks. Chubby girls are not accustomed to receiving attention or compliments. All you need to do is talk to a porky and she’s all yours.

A sneaky thing to do with a chunky chick is to talk about food. Firstly, you know they’re interested in it and secondly, you can use this information to get laid. Try and steer the conversation to fast food. Find out what place she really loves, agree with it and then suggest you guys go grab it sometime on a date. She’ll think you’re being cute and ironic, whereas you know you’re being cheap. On the date, order ten items from the $1 menu and share it with her (she’ll think this is romantic). Once the meal has ended she’ll feel guilty and unattractive. It is your job to reverse this, so take her home and get McNasty with her.

3. The Craigslist Special

The World Wide Web made getting laid as simple and easy as a few clicks of the mouse. The Craigslist special is the cheapest and most convenient way to hook up. All you need is patience, low standards and a stock standard email you can quickly send out to any woman who fits your broad criteria. Be prepared to hit up a bunch of girls, because Craigslist is a numbers game. The pay off is you don’t even need to buy the girl a drink. The downside is that petite 18-year-old with the hot photo is most certainly a crazy, overweight, middle-aged freak. Still, getting laid is getting laid.

2. The Ex

Once you’ve had sex with someone a few times it is really easy to tap it again, whenever you want. Ex sex can be extremely messy, but if you’re really horny you won’t mind dealing with the consequences. Hooking up with an ex is child’s play. All you need to do is call her up and tell her you’d like to talk. Arrange to meet, buy her some cheap supermarket flowers, and tell her you still love her (even/especially if you don’t mean it). This will inevitably lead to intercourse as you reminisce about old times and she plans your future together. In the morning, prepare to be a dick and cut her off.

1. Offer a Ride Home

Be the ultimate dude and offer a girl a ride home. It shows that you are responsible, caring and chivalrous. Use the drive time to get to know each other better. This is the perfect time to get flirty and intimate. Whatever you do, don’t let the conversation die. You must convince her to invite you into her home, so you can continue that witty, in-depth conversation. If that doesn’t work, invite yourself in by saying you need to use the restroom. Then suggest a nightcap. Continue the conversation and let your words penetrate her until she is putty in your hands.

QUINOA

Per ¼ cup:
170 calories
2.5 g fat
7 g protein
3 g fiber

For starters, anytime you choose a whole-grain product over one made from nutrient-stripped white flour, you wage war against belly fat. Penn State researchers found that dieters who ate whole-grains lost twice as much belly fat as those who stuck to white-flour products—even though they’d consumed the same number of calories. What’s more, quinoa contains twice the belly-filling protein as regular cereal grains, fewer glucose-raising carbohydrates, and even a handful of healthy fats. So start your day off with a cup of cooked quinoa combined with a ½ cup of milk and ½ cup of blueberries—microwave for 60 seconds, and you have a delicious (and slimming) alternative to your traditional oatmeal. Bob’s Red Mill Organic Quinoa won “Best Grain” in Men’s Health’s Best Foods Awards 2009.

GREEN TEA

0 calories

Catechins, the powerful antioxidants found in green tea, are known to increase metabolism. A study by Japanese researchers found that participants who consumed 690 milligrams of catechins from green tea daily had significantly lower body mass indexes and smaller waist measurements than those in a control group. It’s safe to say that green tea is one of the best beverages for your health—a stark contrast to any of these 20 unhealthiest drinks in America. Avoid those belt-buckling drinks at all costs.

KEFIR

Per cup:
174 calories
2 g fat
14 g protein
3 g fiber

Think of kefir as drinkable yogurt, or an extra-thick, protein-packed smoothie. In either case, this delicious dairy product is a belly-blasting essential. Beyond the satiety-inducing protein, the probiotics in kefir may also speed weight loss. British scientists found that these active organisms boosted the breakdown of fat molecules in mice, preventing the rodents from gaining weight. The researchers still need to prove the finding in humans, but there’s no danger in downing probiotic-packed products. We like Lifeway Lowfat Blueberry Kefir—it contains L. casei, the same probiotic used in the study.

AVOCADO

Per avocado:
322 calories
29 g fat (4 g saturated, 20 g monounsaturated)
13 g fiber
4 g protein

Never fear this full-fat Mediterranean-diet staple: It’s teeming with healthy monounsaturated fats (also found in olive oil), which have been linked to lowered LDL cholesterol levels and weight loss. In fact, a recent longitudinal study published in The New England Journal of Medicine found that the healthy-fat Mediterranean diet was more effective than a diet that avoided fats altogether—so go ahead and indulge!

EGGS

Per 1 large scrambled egg:
102 calories
7 g fat (2 g saturated)
7 g protein

A British study found that people who increased the percentage of protein-based calories in their diet burned 71 more calories a day (that’s 7.4 pounds a year!). Jumpstart your metabolism as soon as you wake up with a protein-rich breakfast of scrambled eggs. (Go to eatthis.com for other great no-diet weight-loss secrets.)

GRAPEFRUIT

Per grapefruit:
104 calories
4 g fiber
2 g protein

A grapefruit a day in addition to your regular meals can speed weight loss. The fruit’s acidity slows digestion, meaning it takes longer to move through your system, and you’ll end up feeling fuller, and more satisfied, for longer. And the vitamin C-packed grapefruit works to lower cholesterol and decrease risk of stroke, heart disease, and some types of cancer.

Use your credit card sparingly
People often make purchases using their credit cards when they have sufficient cash in their wallets. Using credit cards for everyday purchases adds up. Whenever possible, carry cash, and rely on it to cover expenses.

Avoid buying now and paying later
This method of financing is the classic bait and switch. That shiny new appliance or stylish furniture set you buy today comes with a heavy price tag later. If you have the money to pay for these items in full, do so. If not, leave the items at the store.

Buy only what you can afford
Financing a new car every few years, taking out additional mortgages to add luxury additions to your home and purchasing the latest new items on credit are financial traps. If you cannot afford these upgrades or purchases, wait until you can.

Shop at cost-effective stores
Even though a grocery store may sell personal hygiene products, they are often priced higher than at the drug store. The same is true of buying food products at drug and convenience stores. Make your purchases where based on where the best deals are rather than settling for the convenience of a more expensive one-stop shop.

Eliminate frivolous spending
This type of spending is a personal finance killer that works slowly over time. The expenses of ordering out for lunch and dinner, buying a cup of coffee at the cafe before heading to work and going to the movies at peak times add up and drain your bank account over time. Eliminate these purchases, and you could save thousands of dollars each year.

Budget
Without a budget, you are more likely to miss a payment, or worse, miscalculate how much money you have to work with. Invest in software that allows you to track monthly expenses and anticipated income and create savings for the future.

Analyze your income
After creating a budget, closely monitor your income to determine financial opportunities. If you have been living paycheck-to-paycheck, consider how to reorganize your lifestyle to better live within your means. Be realistic when consider lifestyle choices such as housing options.

Stop paying unnecessary fees
Save yourself thousands of dollars every year by meeting payment deadlines and following your budget to avoid late or overdraft fees.

Ditch unnecessary service bills
Monthly membership fees, cable and satellite TV and cell phone contracts are not crucial bills. Eliminate these extra costs until you can comfortably afford them.

Never dip into your home’s equity
Home equity loans are added payments you do not need. Worse, if you fall behind on the payments, you run the risk of losing your home, your most valuable asset.